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Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Thoughts on London

Spent the last weekend of January in London, catching up with my old flatmate, who now lives in Amsterdam with her husband and baby.

Was amazing to spend a couple of days, just like we used to, staying in Bayswater, talking. Catching up.

Afternoon tea at the Chelsea Teapot. Vanilla tea, for the first time.

Drinks and dinner at a gastro pub in Notting Hill. Very late night - after 12!

Brunch the next morning at 202, on Westbourne Grove. It was like 2006 to 2007 again. I realised that if I still lived in London everything would probably be the same, and not necessarily in a good way.
Funny though, how that moment in time, those few years of being in London has gone. Would be so hard to return to it.

Told A I was coming down. Thought he was going to arrange drinks and to meet up on Friday, but nada. He made all the right noises, then did nothing.
I went to the cinema, Whiteleys Odeon to see The Impossible. I got a stupid,half hearted, no effort email from him on Sunday evening. I didn't bother to reply. Then the next day, more emails, where he tried to say it was my fault that we didn't meet up.

Felt sad and drained and angry. Fed up yet again.

Have been ill with a cold since. I hate it when you get all excited about something that's going to happen, you get your hopes up, then nothing. Again. Makes me laugh now. I have so many disasters, that I'm detached. It's so nice when there are no men messing things up, making you unhappy. I really quite like it when it's just me, doing what I want, without distractions. I'd be happily single for ever, I think. I worry though, about what other people expect of you, that's the worst.

Anyway. As ever, onwards and upwards. For the first time ever I was truly pleased that I've made the move back up North. I had fun in London, but the dirty air, amount of people and the way money just goes, got to me. I loved coming back to the peaceful quiet of rural North Yorkshire, the sweet clean air.
Being able to sleep soundly and having less stress in general.

So that's progress.

2013. Got a few days annual leave. Hibernating. Roaring fires. Sleet and rain against the windows. Heavy grey skies. Fill dyke February. Not planning on doing a great deal, getting over my cold. Bought a SATC boxset, wanted it for years. Reading. Joined a boot camp. On the beach at Scarborough. Got to get fit. Have very little enthusiasm and am pretty sceptical about whether or not it will work. Did go on the treadmill today though for half an hour. My sister kind of made me join it, so I did to stop her nagging.

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